Letters From the Heart
by Freeverse
Summary: After the events of Self-Possessed, Rogue writes a letter to her adoptive mother, addressing her feelings. Rogue + Mystique bonding.


_**Letters from the Heart**_

* ~ *

Dear Mystique,

Ah really didn't want to write this letter. Professor Xavier made me, though. He said that given the current events, ah should write you a letter an send it t' ya. An ah wasn't allowed t' change one word when ah was done. Ah personally think this is gay, but whatevah, ah'm writin' it, ain't ah?

You really pissed me off. An don't even start thinkin' ah should watch mah mouth, because you sure as hell weren't there for the last few years of mah life teachin' me the best life lesson. So you really pissed me off. An ah'm not bein' melodramatic. Findin' out that you were Risty... an mah foster mom... an well, everythin' else ah found out really made me angry.

It might not seem like a big deal t' you. After all, you lie and kill people all the friggin' time. Impersonatin' people to get y'r adopted daughter to join the Brotherhood, actin' like mah bestfriend, an lyin' about mah whole childhood is probably no big deal t' some one like you. But it's a _huge_ deal t' me.

Let's talk about you bein' Risty. That was really sick, Mystique. Ah mean, of all the things you could do, you go an do somethin' that low. Ah trusted ya. Ah told you everythin'. Ah told you about mah crush on Scott, about how ah hated Jean with a passion, how cute Gambit's butt is, an other secret things that a mother shouldn't know, especially one as sick as you! All the while you used me t' spy on the X-Men. Okay, ah know ya wanted t' check on me too, but have you ever thought t' call? T' actually talk t' me in person, not under the guise of Risty or some other person? Maybe it's never occurred you, but maybe ah never wanted t' talk t' you. An after all you did t' me, ah had a _right _t' hate you.

So why do ah want t' forgive you?

Maybe ah want t' forgive you cause y'r mah mom. Ah mean, ah lived with Irene for a long time an ah never called her anythin' except Irene or maybe 'Reney. But ah remember callin' someone with jet black curls and green eyes Momma. An from y'r memories, ah found out that woman was you.

Why didn't you ever tell me? Why didn't you say from day one, "Rogue, I'm your foster mother"? Most of all, why didn't you let me see the real you when ah was little? Were you afraid ah would think you were a monster? Maybe if you an Irene would've told me 'bout y'r powers sooner, ah would've been more prepared t' deal with mahn.

Instead of trickin' me int' joinin' the Brotherhood, you could've told me the truth. Maybe our relationship ship would be less screwed up if you told me who you really were- who ah really was. For the longest time, ah was so scared an confused. Ah still am. Maybe it's because ah wasn't ready f'r the truth, or maybe it's cause you waited too long.

Ah know ah've waited too long t' tell you how ah felt, too. For the longest time, ah've just been silently mad at you, hopin' someday you'd get it an everythin' would be fine. If ah woulda asked ya, would've you have told me what ah wanted t' know?

Ah'm still tryin' t' get used t' the fact that y'r mah mom. Ah mean, sure there were signs all around me, but ah guess ah tried too hard t' ignore them. Even at the Brotherhood, ya treated me differently. At first, ah thought maybe it was cause ah was y'r special weapon, but now ah know differently.

Ah was too young t' really remember you. Ah can recall some tidbits, like the day ya took away mah teddy bear cause ah was too old. Or like the day you said you had to leave for a "business trip." You left me with Irene, an you never came back. Irene never talked about that day.

Maybe ah'm just mad that you left me five years ago. Or maybe ah'm mad about a lot o' things. Ah've got a lot o' things t' be mad about. You lied and cheated an even tried t' throw me off a friggin' cliff!

But ah don't want t' be mad at you anymore. Ah saw y'r memories... ah've been inside y'r head- or more like you've been inside mah head. You have so many reasons, so many excuses f'r doin' what you did. You thought it would be better f'r me t' never know about you, didn't you?

In y'r mind, you never thought you were deservin' of mah love. But ah did love you. You held me and comforted me when ah was scared. You woke me up from all mah nightmares. You taught me everythin' ah know about life.

So why did you throw it all away? We both know you screwed up when ya tried t' get it back. An maybe it'll never be the same as it was before, but we can try. If you were serious about lovin' me, about wantin' t' have a real relationship with me, then we have t' try.

Ah know ah've never done anythin' over Christmas. Ah never, ever went back t' Irene. Ah was always so angry at her f'r lyin' t' me too. But ah was wonderin'- ah mean, if it's all right with you- if ah could stay with you f'r Christmas.

-Rogue

* ~ *

Rogue looked at the envelope one more time as she fought back the urge to cry, or worse, to throw the letter away and leave. She swallowed hard. Her small, glove-covered fist hovered hesitantly over the boarding house's worn, wooden door. She nodded, and knocked firmly on the door.

"I'll get it, yo!" she heard Toad yell and hop down the creaky stairs.

She was struck with the sudden realization that she used to belong here. But it was a while ago, and for all the wrong reasons. She belonged to the institute now. Still, Rogue couldn't fight the instant homesickness that swept over her.

"Don't scare them away!" she heard Lance Alvers yell.

"I'll get it, you incompetent fools! You can never do anything right!"

Rogue winced. That woman- the model for kindness for all, a regular Mother Theresa- was her foster mother. Maybe being there was a bad idea...

The door opened and Rogue almost ran. However, her feet were glued to the ground. She forced a small smile and held the letter with a death grip. Her hands shook slightly. "H-hi."

Mystique raised an eyebrow. "Rogue... what are you doing here?"

"A-ah came t' give you this," she stammered, forcing her hand forward.

"A letter? I really don't have time for this. If you'd just tell me wh-"

"Just read it," she interrupted softly. "Please. It's... somethin' ah can't quite... say."

The shape-shifter nodded and tore open the letter, puzzled. She began to read the letter with a mixture of confusion and annoyance. No doubt she was asking herself why she had to read some stupid letter when Rogue was right there. At first, Mystique's eyes narrowed in anger. Her eyes grew softer, almost moist as she read on. When she finished, the assassin folded up the letter and a single tear escaped from her eye.

"Rogue, I-"

Mystique saw the tears in Rogue's eyes too. She saw the fear in her daughter's eyes. She was scared Mystique would say no. The tears ran freely down Raven's face as she drew Rogue into a tight embrace. "Yes," she said. "Of course. Of course you can stay..."

Rogue smiled, leaning her head against the woman's shoulder. The action felt so familiar she wanted to stay that way forever. "Thanks... Momma."

* ~ *

Aww now, wasn't that cute? I know it's a little too late from Christmas, but I just couldn't ignore this. Self-possessed whole mother-daughter thing was just begging for a fic like this. I hope you liked it, and didn't find it too sappy. I just wanted to address Rogue's feelings of anger, but also the feelings of loneliness she had. Because when Rogue had those tears in her eyes, it just screamed to me that she needed a mom so bad. And Mystique needs someone just as bad as Rogue. Please review, and no I won't add another chapter. I have too many fics like that right now.


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